Frequently Asked Questions
Understanding My Services
Is coaching the same as therapy?
No. While both offer profound support, they have different focuses. Therapy typically involves a medical model focused on diagnosing and treating mental health conditions or processing deep-seated past trauma. My coaching is a relational and action-oriented model. We focus on your present stability, building immediate coping skills for triggers, and visioning your future.
What is the "trauma-informed" coaching difference?
As a trauma-informed coach, I am specially trained to understand the impact that trauma has on you. My coaching focuses on providing a safe, validating space to process deep emotional wounds and restoring your internal stability. Our work together will build crucial coping skills for triggers and overwhelming emotions, helping to regulate your nervous system. I will walk with you as you rebuild your self-trust, set healthy boundaries, and regain a sense of safety and empowerment to move from crisis and chaos to healing and growth. Importantly, trauma-informed coaching means I recognize that you are the expert on your own experience. I never push you past what feels safe, and I always trust your instincts about what you're ready to explore. Safety isn't just about the space I create—it's also about honoring your autonomy and your right to control the pace and direction of your healing.
Can I work with a coach and a therapist at the same time?
Absolutely. In fact, many clients find that this "collaborative approach" accelerates their healing. A therapist can help you process the "why" of past wounds, while I walk beside you to navigate the "how" of your daily life—helping you set boundaries, restore self-trust, and manage the "crushing chaos" of the present.
When should I seek a licensed therapist instead of (or in addition to) coaching?
Coaching is incredibly effective for growth and resilience, but it is not a substitute for clinical mental health care. A licensed professional is necessary if you are experiencing:
Clinical Symptoms: Such as severe depression, persistent panic attacks, or complex PTSD.
Safety Concerns: If you are in immediate physical danger or experiencing suicidal ideation.
Inability to Function: If trauma is preventing you from basic daily tasks like working or sleeping over an extended period.
What are your professional limits as a coach?
As a Trauma-Informed Coach, I do not diagnose, treat, or cure any mental illness or psychological disorder. I also do not provide advice on psychotropic medications. My commitment is to your safety; if we find that your needs fall outside my scope of practice, I will ethically and compassionately help you find the appropriate licensed professional to ensure you are fully supported.
What happens if my needs exceed what coaching can provide?
Your safety is my highest priority. If at any point I recognize that your needs fall outside my scope of practice as a coach—such as clinical depression requiring medication management, complex PTSD needing specialized trauma therapy, or active safety concerns—I will compassionately and ethically help you connect with appropriate licensed professionals. This isn't a failure; it's responsible care. Many clients work with both a coach and a therapist simultaneously, and I'm happy to coordinate care (with your permission) to ensure you're fully supported.
How do I know which service is right for me?
I highly recommend starting with a Reflection Call where we'll explore your current needs, goals, and what kind of support feels right to you. Together, we'll discuss the options and you'll decide which path resonates most. There's no pressure to commit during the call—it's truly just a conversation to help you gain clarity.
What is a Reflection Call?
Do you offer services for the unfaithful partner?
No. Currently, my services, programs, and community are exclusively dedicated to the betrayed partner to ensure a safe, supportive, and non-judgmental space for their specific healing journey.
Your Experience & Your Control
Will you tell me what to do about my relationship?
No. My role is never to direct your decisions or tell you what's "right" for your situation. Whether you're considering staying, leaving, reconciling, or still navigating the uncertainty, I hold space for your process without judgment or agenda. I help you explore your options, clarify your values, and reconnect with your own inner wisdom—but the decisions are always yours. You are the expert on your own life, and I deeply trust your capacity to make the choices that are right for you.
What if I'm not ready to talk about certain things?
You are always in complete control of what we discuss. There's no requirement to share anything before you feel ready. If I ask a question that feels too much, you can simply say "I'm not ready to go there yet" or "Can we focus on something else?" and we'll redirect immediately. Your boundaries are always honored. Some topics might take weeks or months before you're ready to explore them, and that's completely okay. We move at your pace, not mine.
How do I know you won't judge my choices or my situation?
Part of trauma-informed coaching is understanding that every person's healing journey is unique, valid, and deeply personal. I've worked with clients who stayed, clients who left, clients who reconciled, and clients who are still figuring it out years later. All of these paths are honored here without judgment. My commitment is to support you wherever you are and wherever you're headed, without imposing my own beliefs, timeline, or "shoulds" onto your process. Your choices are respected, period.
What if I disagree with something you say or suggest?
Please speak up! Our work together is truly collaborative, and your feedback is essential. If a tool, perspective, exercise, or approach doesn't resonate with you or doesn't feel right for where you are, that's important information. There's no "right" way to do this work—only what works for you. Your disagreement or hesitation isn't a problem; it's a valuable part of our conversation that helps me support you better.
Do I have to "do homework" or assignments between sessions?
Only if you want to. I might suggest practices, reflections, or tools you could try between sessions, but these are always invitations, never requirements. Some clients love having actionable steps to work on; others prefer to use our session time together and not think about it in between. Both approaches are completely valid. You decide what level of engagement works for your life and energy right now.
What if I'm not making progress fast enough?
First, I want to gently challenge the idea that there's a "fast enough" when it comes to healing from betrayal trauma. This is profound, complex work, and there's no timeline you should be meeting. Some weeks you might feel like you're moving forward; other weeks might feel like you're back at square one. This isn't linear, and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. I'm here for the entire journey—the breakthroughs and the setbacks. We move at the pace that your nervous system can handle, not the pace that anyone else thinks you "should" be at.
Can I change my mind about what I want to focus on?
Absolutely. Your needs and priorities might shift from week to week or even within a single session. Maybe you planned to work on boundary-setting but a new crisis emerged. Maybe you thought you wanted to focus on your relationship but realize you need to focus on yourself first. This flexibility is built into how we work together. Each session begins with checking in on what's most important for you right now, and we adjust accordingly.
Community & Group Questions
How is the Unleashing Your Power Study Group different from The Waves Community?
The Study Group is a structured, curriculum-driven 13-week program for intensive, focused work. The Waves Community is an ongoing weekly support group for consistent emotional support and shared connection with women who understand this journey.
What if I'm nervous about sharing in a group setting?
This is one of the most common concerns, and it's completely understandable. Here's what I want you to know: in both The Waves Community and the Unleashing Your Power Study Group, you're never required to share beyond your comfort level. Some participants share extensively from the very first session; others prefer to listen for weeks or even months before opening up. Both approaches are equally valid and welcomed. The group will hold space for you exactly as you are, whether that's actively participating or quietly witnessing. You'll find your own rhythm, and there's zero pressure to be anywhere other than where you are.
Will everyone in the group be at the same stage of recovery as me?
No, and that's actually one of the strengths of community support. Group members are at different stages—some have just discovered betrayal days ago, others are years into recovery. Some are actively working on reconciliation, others are separated or divorced, and many are in the "I don't know what I want" space. Some have experienced a single incident of infidelity, while others are dealing with years of compounded betrayal. All paths, all timelines, and all stages are welcome and honored. The diversity of experiences often provides valuable perspective and hope.
What if someone in the group gives advice I don't agree with?
You're always empowered to take what resonates and leave what doesn't. Group members share from their own experience, but no one's path is meant to be a prescription for yours. As the facilitator, I help maintain this principle—ensuring that sharing remains about personal experience rather than telling others what they "should" do. If something doesn't fit for you, you can simply acknowledge it and let it pass. Your journey is yours alone.
Can I join a group even if I'm still with my partner?
Yes. I work with women across the entire spectrum—those who've left, those who are staying and working on reconciliation, those who are separated but not divorced, and those who truly don't know what they want yet. The group space is about healing you and supporting your process, regardless of your relationship status or decisions. No one will pressure you to leave or to stay. The focus is on your wellbeing, your growth, and your path forward, whatever that looks like.
How do you ensure confidentiality and safety in your groups?
Confidentiality is foundational to creating safety. Before joining any group, all members sign a Confidentiality Agreement committing to keep everything shared within the group completely private. We also establish clear group agreements in our first session about respect, non-judgment, and honoring each person's story. I take breaches of confidentiality seriously, and maintaining this sacred container is a shared responsibility of everyone in the group. What's shared in the waves, stays in the waves.
Practical & Logistics
How long will I need coaching?
There's no predetermined timeline. Some clients work with me intensively for 3-6 months during acute crisis and then transition to less frequent check-ins or group support. Others prefer ongoing weekly or bi-weekly sessions for a year or more. Some take breaks and return when they need support navigating a new challenge. We'll regularly check in about what feels right for you, and you're always free to adjust the frequency, pause services, or conclude our work together whenever you choose. Your healing journey is yours to direct, and I'll support whatever timeline makes sense for you—whether that's three months or three years.
Do I accept insurance?
As a coaching practice, I do not accept insurance, nor can we bill it. However, I encourage you to use our Reflection Call to discuss your budget and explore the best program fit.
What if I can't afford ongoing sessions?
I understand that financial stress is real, especially during crisis. During your Reflection Call, let's have an honest conversation about what's feasible for your budget. Options might include less frequent sessions (every other week or monthly), joining a group program which provides support at a lower cost, or adjusting as your financial situation changes. Healing support should be accessible, and I'm committed to working with you to find an arrangement that honors both your needs and your resources.
What if I need to reschedule a 1-on-1 session?
I require a 24-hour notice for session cancellations or rescheduling. I understand emergencies happen; please refer to our full cancellation policy upon enrollment.
What if I have a crisis between our scheduled sessions?
While I cannot provide 24/7 crisis support (that's the role of a licensed therapist or crisis hotline), I do want you to feel supported. Depending on your service package, options may include brief check-in emails, the ability to schedule an additional session, or connection with The Waves Community for peer support. During our first session, we'll create a crisis safety plan together that includes professional resources, emergency contacts, and grounding techniques you can use independently. Your safety matters, and we'll ensure you have a plan in place.
Are our sessions recorded?
No. Your privacy is paramount. Sessions are not recorded unless you specifically request it for your own use. What you share in our sessions stays confidential (with standard legal exceptions for imminent harm to self or others, abuse of children/vulnerable adults, or court order).
Do I need to involve my partner in coaching sessions?
No. This work is focused entirely on you—your healing, your growth, your clarity, and your wellbeing. Your partner is not involved in our sessions unless you specifically request couple-focused work, which would require a different type of professional support. My expertise is in supporting the betrayed partner, and our work centers on your experience, your needs, and your path forward.
Can I do a single session to "try it out" before committing?
Yes! The Reflection Call is complimentary and no-obligation. After that, you're welcome to schedule a single 1-on-1 session to experience the coaching process before committing to a package or ongoing work. My goal is for you to feel confident that this is the right fit for you. There's never pressure to commit to more than feels comfortable.