Frequently Asked Questions
A few things you may be wondering
Beginning something new can bring questions—especially when so much may already feel uncertain.
Here you'll find answers to some common questions about trauma-savvy coaching, working with me, and practical details about coaching.
If you don't see your question here, you're always welcome to reach out.
Understanding Trauma-Savvy Coaching
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Trauma-savvy coaching recognizes that betrayal can profoundly affect your sense of safety, trust, connection, and confidence in your own perceptions.
Rather than beginning with “What should you do?” we slow things down and pay attention to what you're experiencing, what feels most important right now, and what you need.
My role is to listen, ask thoughtful questions, offer education and tools when helpful, and support you in hearing and trusting your own voice.
Your story is yours. Your choices are yours. Your pace is yours.
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No. Trauma-savvy coaching is a non-clinical partnership. I do not diagnose or treat mental health conditions, provide psychotherapy, or replace the care of a licensed mental health professional.
Coaching can provide a supportive space to explore what you're experiencing now, reconnect with your needs and values, strengthen self-trust, and consider your choices moving forward.
Some women work with a coach, some with a therapist, and some find that both forms of support complement one another.
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Yes. Coaching and therapy can serve different purposes, and some women find it helpful to have both forms of support. If you're working with a therapist, our coaching can remain focused on the areas that are appropriate for coaching and most useful to you.
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Part of practicing responsibly as a coach is recognizing when someone's needs may be better supported by a licensed mental health professional or another specialized provider.
If I believe something you're experiencing falls outside the scope of coaching, we'll talk about it openly and I may encourage you to seek additional professional support.
Coaching is not a substitute for emergency, crisis, medical, or mental health treatment.
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You don't have to know before reaching out.
A complimentary Reflection Call gives us a chance to talk a little about what brings you here, the kind of support you're looking for, and whether working together feels like a good fit.
There is no pressure to make a decision during the call.
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Yes. I support women navigating betrayal trauma related to infidelity and affairs, pornography addiction, sex addiction, compulsive sexual behavior, and other forms of relational betrayal.
You do not need a particular diagnosis, label, or relationship status to seek coaching. Our work centers on your experience of the betrayal, what you are navigating now, and the support you need as you begin finding greater safety, clarity, self-trust, and agency.
Your Experience, Your Voice, Your Choices
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No.
Whether you are considering staying, leaving, rebuilding your relationship, separating, or simply don't know what you want yet, those decisions remain yours.
My role is to help you slow things down, explore what you're experiencing, notice what you need, reconnect with your values and instincts, and hear your own voice more clearly.
Your choices remain yours.
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Then we don't have to talk about it.
You decide what we explore and what you're ready for. If I ask a question that doesn't feel useful or that you don't want to answer, you can tell me.
You are always allowed to say:
“I'm not ready to go there.”
“I'd rather talk about something else.”We begin where you are.
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Please tell me.
Our work is collaborative. A perspective, question, practice, or tool I offer is an invitation—not a prescription.
If something doesn't resonate with you, that's useful information. We can talk about it, adapt it, or leave it behind.
You know your lived experience better than anyone else.
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No.
I may offer a reflection, practice, resource, or tool to explore between sessions, but these are invitations rather than requirements.
Sometimes you may want something concrete to work with. Other times, what you need most may simply be space to absorb what we've already explored.
Both are okay.
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Healing after betrayal rarely follows a straight line.
There may be periods when you feel steadier and others when another wave of grief, anger, uncertainty, or overwhelm arrives.
Rather than measuring your progress against a timeline, we'll continue noticing where you are, what you need, what's changing, and what feels supportive now.
There is no pace you are expected to meet.
Groups & Community
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You don't have to share more than feels comfortable.
Some women feel ready to talk quickly. Others prefer to listen and become familiar with the group before sharing more of their story.
Both are welcome.
You are allowed to find your own way of participating and your own pace within the group.
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No.
Women may come to a group with different experiences, relationship circumstances, and amounts of time since discovering betrayal.
You may be trying to decide what you want. Someone else may be rebuilding a relationship. Another woman may be separated or divorced.
The purpose isn't for everyone to be in the same place. It's to create connection with women who understand something about the experience of betrayal while honoring that each woman's story and choices are her own.
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Privacy is an important part of creating a supportive group environment.
Participants are asked to agree to clear expectations around confidentiality and respectful participation before joining a group. We also establish shared group agreements about honoring one another's stories, choices, and privacy.
While I establish and reinforce these expectations, confidentiality among group participants cannot be guaranteed.
Practical Questions
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There is no predetermined timeline.
Some women come to coaching for support through a particular season or decision. Others choose ongoing support as their needs and circumstances evolve.
We'll periodically talk about what feels useful to you, and you are always free to change the frequency of sessions, take a break, or conclude coaching.
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No. Because Reflections in the Waves is a coaching practice rather than a clinical mental health practice, coaching services are not billed to health insurance.
If cost is a concern, you're welcome to bring that up during a Reflection Call. We can talk about available services and whether there is an option that fits your needs and resources.
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No.
My coaching is centered on you—your experience, needs, voice, choices, and life.
Your partner does not need to participate in your coaching sessions.
If you are seeking couples therapy, relationship treatment, or another service involving both partners, I can encourage you to seek a professional who specializes in that work.
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Coaching is available virtually and, depending on location and availability, may also be offered in person (including “walking coaching”). I am based in Maryland, USA.
If you are located outside Maryland or outside the United States, we can discuss whether virtual coaching is available for your location during a Reflection Call.
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You can find current coaching options and pricing on the Services page. Any available group offerings will also be listed there.
Still Have a Question?
You don't have to have everything figured out before reaching out.
If you're wondering whether coaching might be helpful, have a question about services, or simply aren't sure where to begin, you're welcome to connect with me.